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Monday, May 9, 2016

School is Over: Apology

Well, this marks the end of school. It's been a very long 12 years journey, from Elementary, Junior High/Middle School to Senior High/High School. On the way of the journey, there are several bumps. Passing through all the bumps, I have troubled many of my friends.

I'm sorry

I know that it's too late to apologize, it's been years anyway. However, gratitude always come from the deepest of heart. No matter what I've done, there's always a glimpse of light that you remembered. Can you see that light? Hatred and greed will always be your enemy. They would close your eyes, preventing you from seeing the light in your heart. Be humble and lovely; you shall again see what is right.

I'll mention names now
This was my personal experience.

Yovan, Michelle, Divia - Season 2 (Grd 7-9)
It all started with this combination. Yovan - the son of the principal at that time - was the proprietor of all of this. I was blinded by hatred against him that I couldn't see the fun, cheerful side of Michelle or the humble side of Divia. Instead I disturbed them, a lot. So many that I lost count.

What I did was wrong. I failed to see the good side of them because of hatred. Right as of the day I published this post, whenever I saw Yovan, I could still feel those anger albeit a little. I have spoiled the chance from the two to enter their worlds and now the door has been closed for me.

For Michelle: I don't know if you'll ever open those doors in your heart, but what I do know is that you should still remember the time when you're having problems in Excel. I couldn't say enough apology for you, but nevertheless, good luck on your life and your relationship. For you, I'll give one tip regarding LDR: patience. If he loved you that bad, he won't go from your side, ever. If he did go away, then he is playing with your feelings. If you miss him, video call. When he came back, you'll be the first to greet him.

For Divia: Thank you for your understanding. I knew that we won't be able to return to the state before I disturbed you, but I think it's the best solution. Still, Divia, I wished we can go back to be friends again, as one the first person I knew from Xaverius. If there's still some aspects of me that's still bugging you, I'm sorry to do that. I have done wrong, but still everyone deserved a second chance, including Yovan. I have given him the second chance - will you?

For Yovan: Well, as I said above: Second chance. You may be the one who over-read the Bible, but still I saw a lot of things from you. Speech? Awesome. Computer? Good. Leadership? Good. Although you have been the most struggling person I've ever faced, I will forgive you for what you've done to me, and to them indirectly. I would also like to say sorry, especially for slapping your face with a folder. As I said above again, I couldn't say enough apology

Erika - Season 3 (Grd 10)
...and all that continues on Grade 10! Well, one student in my Grade 10 did behave much like Yovan - with less Biblical approach. Still, he reminded me of Yovan - he-who-must-not-be-named Hardi. I will only type that name once though. I, again, was blinded. I couldn't see the soft, humble and heavenly side of her. What I see of her since that day was fury - burned ash.

Again, I have burned my chance of becoming her friend. I couldn't see even a glimpse of light and this was the reason that I do not dare to even talk to her: It would set her fury on fire again. As a form of regret, a story was based on this which tells everyone the prediction of the things to come if that fateful day didn't happen: Erika (Season 4S) - that's the title

I have broken the 2nd Buddhist law and the 7th (or 8th for Christians) law of the ten commandment. Well, I couldn't turn back time. What I can do now, however, is this:

For Erika: If you read from above, you should know how screwed I am. Well, I am screwed since that day. It's not hatred that brought me to do such thing, it's envy. Envy that you could be friends with such a... well, you know, the one who must-not-be-named. Still, it pains me on the reason why I did it. I couldn't say enough apology to clear this, right? Well... I'm sorry. Thank you for becoming a good classmate before that day and thanks for the warning you gave me at that time. I must be a jerk to you - you helped me but I hurt you. I'm sorry for that.

Honorable Mentions
Now let's discuss the one who left the school too soon. They aren't leaving without leaving a memory behind though

Yoga - Season Introductory (Kindergarten)
Starting with my Kindergarten friend... That's a long, long time. Some said that he might be my imaginary friend, but it's not for me. He left some good memories, kickstarting my school life quite good. I wish I could meet him again now, but I wouldn't know his face, right?

Cella Eveline - Season 2 (Grd 8)
Jumping to the Middle school was the new student Cella who joined us for a couple of months before moving back to Jakarta. She left at 14 October, in the middle of the bazaar preparation. She left behind not only her responsibility, but also memories. There were still photos of her along with the other girls. As of this day, I couldn't forget her for her gentle attitude towards everything

K Irina Putri - Season 3E (Grd 11)
Well, she is one hell of a girl. I would be suggesting that her Y chromosome disappeared somehow and the X chromosome took its place. Still, she's number one in class and outside the class - according to the boys, at least

For Yovan, Divia, Michelle and Erika
If you have read all the way to the bottom of this post - not skipping through - then congratulations. As a token of appreciation, I will make a short story which will feature all 4 of you. Contained in it will be my wishes.

For Yovan only: our new path has just begun

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